"There's an old joke. Uh, two elderly women 
are at a Catskills mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food 
at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know, 
and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about 
life. Full of loneliness and misery and suffering and unhappiness, and 
it's all over much too quickly."     Alvy Singer
                                                                                             
"The other important joke for me is one 
that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx but I think it appears 
originally in Freud's Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious - and it 
goes like this. I'm paraphrasing. I would never want to belong to any 
club that would have someone like me for a member. That's the key joke 
of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women."     Alvy Singer
 
 
 
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